that you, of all people, would do this. I mean, i don’t know why i trusted you in the first place. Considering you fucked me over once, for someone who now fucked you over. Hope it feels good to have a taste of your own medicine.
I haven’t been on tumblr in MONTHS, we have some catching up to do.
School- You take up my life. Anddd somehow i still continue to dominate you.
Weekends- Crazier and crazier by the week. 3 day weekend this week, and Bama the next weekend with Regan and Mary Beck! Forget Milton homecoming, Alabama here we come.
Friends- You guys make my life so much better. But there’s one of you i miss SO much. It’s not like i’ve been intentionally not hanging out with you. You’re just so busy with your new friends, i almost feel like you don’t want to anymore. Just know i’ve been thinking about you and love you as much as ever.
Boys- Are confusing. The end.
Mom- You’ve been through a lot this week, and i am so incredibly happy that you’re doing this. I know we’ve all said it atleast a thousand times, but i can’t say it enough, i am so proud of you. I love you so much.
Dad- Though i hardly see you, things between us are getting better and better. I feel like our relationship isn’t as one sided as it has been in the past, and i love that you want to be apart of my life. I miss you and love you.
Self- I’m so confused. I don’t know what i want anymore.
Life- Always has ups and downs, but trying to look at the glass half full. It can only help, right?
Tan- Where the fuck did you go?
And last but not least, Sleep- Haven’t slept in in atleast two weeks, kill me.
So on that note, goodnight tumblr, hello bedtime.
and yet for some reason today i found myself missing you.
Really bad. I hate wisdom teeth.
Beauty at its finest.
Religion is for people who dont want to go to hell; sprituality is for people who have already been there.”-Craig Lam
The epitome of Summer.
And that counts double for yourself.
who come in and out of our lives, like their stuck in some kind of revolving door. And they suck.
in atleast 3 weeks. That’s like a year for me. Expect some pictures and songs and such coming very soon(:
You are so strong. You reached a major breaking point last night, but we made it through it. And we’ll continue to make it through, day by day, one obstacle at a time. So if at any point while i’m gone this weekend and you need anything, you better call me. I love you and can’t wait to see you when i get home(:
Time for a girls weekend at the beach. Some time to get away and relax with Becky baby and Wegan(:
Oh summer nights.
I don’t even know where to start. Things are just so confusing and jumbled together these days. I just need to talk about it, so who better to turn to then tumblr. So followers, you can just skip right over this if you’d like.
The last few days: I spent with Mary beck and Regan, all alone in Regan’s house like big kids. Her mom was out of town and for some reason she trusted us all to stay there alone. Weird. We went out and had some fun, and didn’t get even close to enough sleep. For almost a week my sleeping schedule has been stay up to about 6-7, then come home (or to Regan’s) and sleep for about 2 hours. And then get up for the day. Which has totally ruined my health. I can only hear out of one ear, my voice is on the verge of being nonexistent, and I’m SO tired. But nevertheless, i’ve had a lot of fun with my best friends.
Friends: I’m made some new ones lately. I love them. And i’ve fallen out of touch with a few, but i intend on changing that very soon.
You: I finally don’t miss you anymore. It makes me happy.
Boys: I have way worse things to be worried about, and yet here i am talking about boys. It’s not that i’m lonely, i have the best friends and family you could ask for. It’s not that i need attention, i don’t want it. It’s just that i want someone to hold my hand, and someone to ride around in the car listening to my favorite music, and to talk to their friends about me, and to make me mad only to make me feel better. (I’m so cliche) Not to sound conceited, but i have lots of boys that talk to me, and want to hang out with me, but it’s usually for all the wrong reasons. And i’m tired of that. I’m tired of being used and being taken advantage of. I’m tired of just letting it happen. I’m tired of knowing what i’m doing to myself, but not stopping it. I’m tired of thinking it’ll be different, but every single time it’s the same. All i want is for someone to really care, is that so much to ask?
Bad habits: Some of you i love, others of you not so much. But either way, it’s time to say goodbye.
Family: I feel guilty. I’ve spent so much time this summer with my friends, i literally have been home for maybe a total of a week since we got out of school. It’s not because i don’t love you guys or because i don’t want to be around you, so don’t think that. Despite our differences, and our problems, i love you guys so much.
Best friend: I love you more than life itself. But something about you is different. Little things have changed, tiny things in fact. If i didn’t spend so much time with you i wouldn’t even notice, but i do. You still smile, but never with your eyes. You laugh, just not as loud. You talk to me, but not about everything like you used to. You tell the truth, but not all of it. You’ve changed. And it’s not your fault. You’ve been through so much. And i don’t want you to think i’m saying this is a bad thing, because it isn’t. I’m just worried about you. I want you to trust me, and talk to me, and let me be there for you, because i need you here for me.
Other best friend: I know people always say, “I know what you’re going through.” and they never actually know. But i really do know exactly what you’re going through. I’ve been through it. I’m going through it now really. Just know that if you want it to change, you can make it change. It might be hard, it might take a while, but i’m here the whole way through. I need that change. We’re gonna do this together.
P.S.-I’m proud of you. You just made a huge step towards being that person you wanna be. I have so much faith in you.
Myself: I’m ashamed. I love and hate the person i am. The person i’ve become is every thing i ever wanted, and everything i can’t stand. I love that i’m carefree, and crazy, and fun, and intelligent, and adventurous, and caring. But i hate that i’m thought of as a whore, and stupid, and someone who is always drinking or smoking. I want that to change. It’s going to be hard though. It takes a long time and a lot of work to change what EVERYONE thinks of you. But i’m going to change, see for yourself.
Summer: You have been amazing. I’ve had so much fun, and i’m gonna have even more fun this weekend at the beach with Mary beck and Regan. I can’t wait.
Music: You’re my life. I’ve found some awesome new songs and bands lately. I’ll be posting some soon, be excited.
Sleep: IMISSYOU.
I just had to organize my life. Thanks for ignoring the fact that this pretty much takes up the whole dashboard. Until next time(:
